The Truman Show

At times I feel like my life here is a show. The most amusing circumstances happen and I think to myself, "this is something from a movie..I will add that to the book of my life". Here are a few of these circumstances.



I went out dancing in the city. I did not want to walk home to campus so I stayed at a friends, who lives in the city. As we woke up, a bit hung over, we were worried her flatmates may be a bit annoyed that I stayed without permission. My friend's roommate had in fact that previous night, asked my friend's permission to have his lousy high school mate stay.

{I must tell a side story here...the flatmate told us why and how he is still friends with this person, who he strongly dislikes. The flatmate calls him Squidward, which I said a bit too loudly in front of him, unknowing that he knew his nickname, but let us stick with that nickname for the continuation of the side story. In high school, Squidward was that boy who liked to kick other boys in the nuts. The other boys decided they had had enough with Squidward, and told him to buggeroff. Well, Squidward had a big cry with the faculty and then the Dean of the school got involved. The Dean told the boys that they had to be friends with Squidward or they would be expelled. So, the flatmate has been friends with Squidward all these years, due to blackmail from the Dean of his school. I should note that Squidward did stop kicking people in the nuts.}

SO, my friend and I took a deep breath and opened her door to the rest of the flat. To our surprise, Squidward was on the floor, on a mattress, in the middle of the kitchen, and not alone. Squidward acted rather contently and asked what our plans were for the day. We told him we were off to the farmer's market after a wee bit of breakfast. My friend located her bread and butter and then tried to locate an outlet for the toaster. At this point, Squidward asked for the toaster and plugged it into the outlet right next to his mattress. He then set the toaster in the middle of himself and his ladyfriend. We all stared at one another and watched the toaster between them. The ladyfriend was not at all impressed and held the blanket even closer to her skin...I am not sure if she was wearing pants. Once the toast came up, Squidward held the toaster out, so my friend could climb over, in between them, and grab the toast. We then sat and had our toast, literally inches from their mattress, us chewing, Squidward continually asking the ladyfriend questions, and the ladyfriend looking like she had made a grave mistake. I felt like I was part of a deleted scene from 4 weddings and a funeral.



My next experiences were from some of my classes. 1. My first class of the day began with my professor, who happens to have double vision, so he lectures on sociological prospectives with a pirate eye patch. 2. The class following, Asian Religions, is taught by a strict, straight edge Kiwi (who will scold you for being tardy). This professor happens to be obsessed with Yoda. He brought in aspects of Yoda for half our introduction lecture. He asked the class to ponder why Yoda, 900 years old, is one of the few Jedi who still cannot speak proper English. Valid point professor. During this class, he illustrated how the exotic or alien creatures in cinema or TV, have Asian decent. He brought in, of course Yoda, Java the Hut, some Mongolian looking Star Trek person (Sorry Trekkie's), and the Orks from Lord of the Rings. My professor showed us 5 separate sentences. They all looked like mumble jumble to me. Before my professor could even tell us that all but one of the sentences are no language at all, a male student in the back yelled out that the 3rd sentence was the language of the Orks. My professor then gave him the "geek of the week" award. My neighbor to my right, pst me over and stated, "typical man, focuses his attention on one thing. You know HES not good in bed!".

One of my favorite friends, Stu, he worked as a security guard, at a morgue. He has the best stories and reminds me of Bill Bryson. He tells me that when hes drunk, he tries to write like Mr.Bryson. Honestly, I think Bills gotta run for his money. I will be the first in line for Stu's biography. At the moment, he is enjoying New Zealand. He is a bit worried about finding his next girlfriend. He tends to go for Jewish, vegetarian, CRAZY girls. He tells me that the last 3 girlfriends have all shared these qualities. I most note that before he dated these girls, he was unaware of the last criteria.

Stu is excited to go to the All Blacks game. We are going to pre-game at his place, and order pizza from a joint that is Hell themed. The different types of pizza are named after the deadly sins. He says that it would be wrong to go for gluttony, and maybe lust would be More appropriate.

To finish off, I will add a bit of the random flavor in Wellington. My favorite stores to pass are "2 Cheap! Where quality comes cheaper" and "Flesh Wounds", a piercing store with a metal door adorned with spikes! There is also a billboard, right before what locals call the rape stairs (they go on forever, and its a bit dodgy at night to be on them alone). Anyway, the billboard says " In the beginning, man created God...There probably isn't a God, so stop worrying and ENJOY your life!"...I am amused because if that sign was found in the States, about 10,000 people would immediately sue, protesters would form and the billboard would be taken down.

Ahh, New Zealand.

Today I went to class, and thought about if I had free will, hiked Mt. Victoria and pictured Frodo and Sam running away from those creepy undead, cloaked riders, thought about what I should do with the next few years of my life, and ate a delicious avocado with a wee bit of salt.

Tomorrows plan is to get my mind blown once again in my philosophy class, make arrangements for my spring break adventure on the south island, change my plane ticket so I can WWOOF for a month after my classes (Mom, I promise I will be home for Christmas), cook some food for a potlock and sing a lovely ditty at a Karokee bar.